Broken a promise today

“I won’t call you, I won’t message you from now on”… Uhg.. this is so heart breaking. These can’t be my last words! After all I always considered myself a writer. Besides we spent such beautiful times together.

It’s hard to not to talk with a person with whom you used to share your every breathe of you.

I love her. Yes, I still do.

So what, she doesn’t love you. She even asked you to stay away from her and not disturb her by repeatedly calling her.

Okay ok… I won’t call her. But this soo difficult. I am not hard guy. I can’t be so hard on myself. I miss her. I really want to tell her the heart out of me. She listens to me so well. She has such a beautiful, long hair which touched the ground when we sat together. When she smiles, I can’t take away my eyes from her. Ooo.. Its making my heart beat so fast. I can’t think of her for so long… I can’t miss her for long.

So this is what happened when I was thinking of her today. After thinking about her I started missing her a lot. So even after resisting myself a lot, I couldn’t stop and I called her, after 5 months… I called her from my new number, but she didn’t pick up her phone. After phone disconnected I sat down blank for some time.  Feeling lost.

Soon after some time, my phone stated ringing. It was her. I have never felt my heartbeats so much. I could see her name on my phone but I didn’t received her phone. I wanted to talk to her so bad but that one promise that I won’t disturb her was not letting me speak myself out.

Just after the ringing stopped, I felt the turbulence within me. And I realized that if I had talked to her, I would induce this same disturbance in her and so I couldn’t talk to her even after wanting to talk so bad.

Hope I will be in a better situation someday and I might talk with her. Sometimes I also feel that what if I could never talk with  her. But this thought weakens me up and I reject it.

***

 

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